Take a listen to hear more about giving ourselves permission, working with our bodies to uncover truths, teasing apart what’s really important to us versus what we’re doing to please other people, and what life coaching is and isn’t (you might be surprised!).

When we’re trying to override the voice of our inner critic, our impulse is to put up our defenses. We try to ignore it, tell it to shove off, or argue with it. Unfortunately, these tactics almost never work. Thankfully, there’s another way.

We somehow convince ourselves that living a life that feels true to us—rather than what others expect of us—isn’t that important or is secondary to other things. I strongly beg to differ. And the dying would, too.

Your brain is constantly looking for evidence that what you tell yourself is true. So if you’re constantly telling yourself, “I don’t have enough time,” then. . . you guessed it. Your brain is going to go to work finding evidence that supports that belief. Here’s what to tell yourself instead.

This week I reached over 5000 minutes of meditation. Though I have practiced meditation for several years, I have been wildly inconsistent. Some days I don’t meditate. Some weeks I don’t meditate. There have been entire months when I haven’t meditated. Consistency and accountability have their place, but I’m much more interested in how we can show ourselves compassion. 

What might happen in your own life if you could trust yourself? If you could release what doesn’t matter? If you could stop looking outside yourself to see if you’re being and doing enough?

We are wired to be tuned into others, to want to belong, to assimilate to the group. There’s nothing wrong with that—to a point. But when we get so lost in that noise that we forget how to please ourselves, then we have a problem. That’s when our light starts to dim.

5 or 15 or 45 minutes of time for yourself is not going to fix your problem if you’re spending the other 16ish waking hours of your day trying to be all things to all people and striving to meet impossible standards.

Because some days you need someone like Lizzo or P!nk or India.Arie to remind you that you are perfect, just as you are.

This year has taught me again and again that we contain multitudes. We are living contradictions, vessels for both darkness and light, and we deny ourselves the wholeness of our experience when we consistently push one away.