Resources for Father’s Day Grief

For those of you who are dreading Father’s Day, I’m sending so much love your way. Whether you decide to honor the day or just do your best to get through, I hope you treat yourself with tenderness (and maybe avoid social media).

This week’s Comfort Corner includes links to events and resources for those who might be looking for support as Father’s Day approaches. If that’s not you, please read on to learn more about how you can show support to someone who’s grieving this Father’s Day.

Events and resources for coping with loss on Father’s Day

If Father’s Day is a difficult time for you, here are some free events and resources that may be able to offer you some support:

Free virtual events:

Please note that I’m sharing these for informational purposes only. While I do my best to vet resources and recommendations, I do not have firsthand experience with these providers or events.

• VITAS Healthcare is hosting a free event called A Season for Remembrance on Thursday, June 11, 2-3pm ET and again on Friday, June 12, 6-7pm ET. While not specific to father loss, it is designed to “offer a space to pause, reflect, and honor the loved ones we carry with us.” Registration required.

• Andrea Gerrard is hosting a free Father’s Day Grief Circle on Saturday, June 13, 12-1:30 pm ET. Registration required.

• Letters to the Water: An Open Waters Experience is a free creative expression grief circle for those navigating any kind of father loss, including death, estrangement, and difficult relationships. Saturday, June 20, 11am-12:15 pm ET. Registration required. 

Podcasts and videos:

• David Kessler has two on-demand Father Day’s videos:  “When You’re Grieving Your Dad” and “A Father’s Grief: When a Child Dies”.

• Grief Out Loud, a podcast of The Dougy Center, has an episode entitled “Grief & Father’s Day” designed for those who’ve lost a father or for those parenting a child who’s lost a father

• Dr. Joanne Cacciatore speaks with Compassionate Friends about the loss of a child in this YouTube video

Articles:

• What’s Your Grief’s Surviving Father’s Day Grief: When Sadness Meets Storytelling speaks to some of the unique aspects of Father’s Day grief and includes two free printable worksheets with prompts: “Remembering My Child” and “Remembering My Dad”

• From One Grieving Dad to Another, also from What’s Your Grief, shares heartfelt words from fathers who have lost a child

• This Modern Loss article, Father’s Day Without Dad, Vol. 10, speaks to the loss of a father and includes links to several other pieces on grieving a dad

• The Dougy Center’s Tips for Acknowledging Mother’s Day and Father’s Day includes guidance on how to support children who’ve experienced a loss

• Estranged on Father’s Day and Coping with Estrangement on Father’s Day speak to navigating Father’s Day when you’re are estranged from your father or child

• How Men Hurt and Grieve Over Miscarriage, Too speaks to the often overlooked grief of men who have experienced a pregnancy loss 

I know this holiday affects a multitude of people with a variety of losses, including many that don’t make it into articles about Father’s Day grief. Please know that I see you and am sending you love.

Ways to support people who are grieving this Father’s Day

Just as I shared for Mother’s Day, here are ways that you can support the people in your life who may be feeling the pain of loss on Father’s Day:

• Say something. If you know that this might be a hard time for someone in your life, remember that often acknowledgement is everything. You don’t have to say a lot or say the perfect words. A simple “I’m thinking of you today” goes a long way.

• Consider tangible support. A lot of support these days comes via texts and social media comments. Consider going the extra step by sending a card, dropping off flowers, or even sending an e-gift card so someone can treat themselves to a cup of coffee.

• Avoid making assumptions about how someone feels. You might ask, “How is today feeling for you?” and let the person tell you how they are experiencing the day.

• Honor how someone does (or doesn’t) want to celebrate. Avoid pressuring a person into joining family or social events. Be willing to offer your presence in other ways and allow the grieving person to take the lead.

• Remember that your role is to be present, not to try and make it better. You can’t take away another person’s pain - nor should you try to. Try witnessing and acknowledgement instead. This video “How do you help a grieving friend?” by Megan Devine illustrates how you might do that. 

If this is a hard holiday for you, I hope that you feel loved and that you take gentle care of yourself.