Father’s Day Resources
For those of you who are dreading Sunday, I’m sending so much love your way. Whether you decide to honor the day or just do your best to get through, I hope you treat yourself with tenderness (and maybe avoid social media).
Here are links to events and resources for those who might be feeling the pain of loss even more this week. If that’s not you, please read on to learn more about how you can show support to someone who’s grieving this Father’s Day.
Events and resources for coping with loss on Father’s Day
If Father’s Day is a difficult time for you, here are some free events and resources that may be able to offer you some support:
Free virtual events:
Andrea Gerrard is hosting a Father’s Day Grief Circle on Thursday, June 12. Registration required
VITAS Healthcare is hosting a virtual Father’s Day Memorial Event on Thursday, June 12 and again on Friday, June 13. This event is designed for those who’ve lost fathers or father figures and will include speakers, musical performances, readings, and an opportunity to share memories if you choose. Registration required.
Podcasts and videos:
David Kessler has two on-demand Father Day’s video series: “When You’re Grieving Your Dad” and “A Father’s Grief: When a Child Dies”.
Grief Out Loud, a podcast of The Dougy Center, has an episode entitled “Grief & Father’s Day” designed for those who’ve lost a father or for those parenting a child who’s lost a father
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore speaks with Compassionate Friends about the loss of a child in this YouTube video
Articles:
What’s Your Grief’s Surviving Father’s Day Grief: When Sadness Meets Storytelling speaks to some of the unique aspects of Father’s Day grief and includes two free printable worksheets with prompts: “Remembering My Child” and “Remembering My Dad”
From One Grieving Dad to Another, also from What’s Your Grief, shares heartfelt words from fathers who have lost a child
This Modern Loss article, Father’s Day Without Dad, Vol. 10, speaks to the loss of a father and includes links to several other pieces on grieving a dad
The Dougy Center’s Tips for Acknowledging Mother’s Day and Father’s Day includes guidance on how to support children who’ve experienced a loss
Estranged on Father’s Day and Coping with Estrangement on Father’s Day speak to navigating Father’s Day when you’re are estranged from your father or child
How Men Hurt and Grieve Over Miscarriage, Too speaks to the often overlooked grief of men who have experienced a pregnancy loss
I know this holiday affects a multitude of people with a variety of losses, including many that don’t make it into articles about Father’s Day grief. Please know that I see you and am sending you love.
Ways to support people who are grieving this Father’s Day
Here are ways that you can support the people in your life who may be feeling the pain of loss on Father’s Day:
Say something. If you know that this might be a hard time for someone in your life, remember that often acknowledgement is everything. You don’t have to say a lot or say the perfect words. A simple “I’m thinking of you today” goes a long way.
Consider tangible support. A lot of support these days comes via texts and social media comments. Consider going the extra step by sending a card, dropping off flowers, or even sending an e-gift card so someone can treat themselves to a cup of coffee.
Avoid making assumptions about how someone feels. You might ask, “How is today feeling for you?” and let the person tell you how they are experiencing the day.
Honor how someone does (or doesn’t) want to celebrate. Avoid pressuring a person into joining family or social events. Be willing to offer your presence in other ways and allow the grieving person to take the lead.
Remember that your role is to be present, not to try and make it better. You can’t take away another person’s pain - nor should you try to. Try witnessing and acknowledgement instead. This video “How do you help a grieving friend?” by Megan Devine illustrates how you might do that.
However this week finds you, I hope that you feel loved and that you take gentle care of yourself.
